Some kind of phobia or psychological trauma?

I have clear memories of being a toddler and having a deep fear of statues. My uncle had a giant bust of Sappho in his living room and when my family lived with him, nothing preoccupied me more than avoiding seeing this statue at all costs. I would have nightmares about that particular statue and others floating, talking, or just standing there that terrified me. I eventually got over my fear of statues by themselves, and the bust of Sappho does not affect me in the slightest anymore, nor does any other statue I've seen.





I am now a teenager, and recently, after I saw the crackly black-and-white footage of a statue (can not remember whose) being toppled during the Russian Revolution , I suffered some kind of panic attack not unlike a what has been described as the projection of the most negative parts of the subconscious during a bad trip on some kind of hallucinogen. During class, after I saw the video, I felt a shock and got the jitters, and while not thinking about it for the next few hours, began to feel antsy. The antsy feeling worsened as the day went on until I started to feel very angry and fatigued (at this point I was walking around town during the afternoon) at one point I almost blacked out, so I went home and due to my mood, began a futile argument with my mother and sister for no real reason. I began to feel largely claustrophobic and angry beyond control and so I stormed off out of the apartment building into the night by myself. At this point I was anxious to get as far away from my home as I could so I walked a few blocks down to the bus stop where an old woman was waiting for the bus. She sensed that there was something wrong with me and asked where I was going. I told her I just felt like I needed to get away and she started trying to calm me down and told me about how it was not a good idea to leave as the city has a high crime rate and the bus system is unreliable after dark and how I could get stranded alone in the ghetto and so on...





She persuaded me not to take the bus, but her reassurances (she assumed I was having relationship problems based on my emotional outburst) just shifted my mood from anger to a sense of sadness and helplessness and so I wandered the empty streets of the neighborhood crying. I remembered the video I had seen earlier that day and I started to feel trapped and everything around me, especially distant celestial objects, while visually remaining in their normal forms, became personified as silently laughing demons closing in on me while at the same time moving further and further into the distance leaving me feeling an intense sense of smallness, powerlessness, and isolation. I tried to stop focusing on the sky in order to get rid of this feeling and collapsed onto the ground (at this point I was at a field in the middle of a park across the street) The concept of the ground began to disturb me when I thought about all of the magma and shifting tectonic plates underneath the crust and I felt terrified and trapped in the world. I had no idea what to do about it, so I just paced in circles and sobbed until a very close friend found me and helped me calm down.





The entire situation reminded me wholly of nightmares and anxiety attacks I suffered from frequently as a child of about 2 years, and I am positive that it was a result of some the uncovering of some deeply buried psychological issue activated by my sighting of the statue falling. The whole thing is


pretty damn weird considering;





1. I never had any real reason to be afraid of statues in my early childhood. I did not actually ever have a traumatic encounter with one, they just terrified me deeply. I am no longer disturbed by statues themselves, but toppling statues still scare me, especially if the photographs or film are old and in black and white. Earlier tonight I searched for the footage that I saw that caused the whole thing, but could not find it. I did however, find photos of a similar situation, which creeped me out a bit. (link to pictures here)


http://libcom.org/gallery/v/history/ee/h鈥?/a>





2. I am not very sensitive to even the most gruesome of imagery. I don't know why something so inconspicuous as demolition of a human-shaped building hits me so hard.





Also, in my early childhood when I had these problems, I was calmed either by hearing certain music (esp. songs from the Grateful Dead album "American Beauty") or smelling certain fragrances.





Up to that point in my life I had never taken any consciousness-altering drugs, not anything from tobacco or alcohol to Psilocybin, so it could not be a side effect of anything like that.





Now that I've shutup about myself, if anyone who has had a similar experience or has any knowledge about this type of situation can offer some insight that would be great!





Thanks!





p.s. the incident I have described above happened last September when I was 14. I am now 15.|||First, if these are all your own words, and not plagiarized , someone elses words, then you


write INCREDIBLY well ,and should consider writing as in some way part of a career choice, making movies, or something.


REally.


Second, if this is real, there are times when we can only speculate as to where fears originate or some other senerios. Walking through a getto is obvious danger, but a fear of statues can be anything from being taught in certain religions against the making and use of statutes, to some more obscure memory or association , causing anxiety.


The origins of these are not as easy to locate, and you are the best source for deciding and sleuthing them out for yourself, since you know yourself and your life the best.


If the point is knowing how to remove , resolve and neutralize them , without necessarily even having to know the details of origins, etc, then thankfully there is now a method to do just that, where as regular therapy would do no good whatso ever in this endeavor. So here is a free version of a healing method that is known to work well and is even healing ptsd in war veterans. YOu can apply it to all of this yourself. eftuniverse.com click on 'get started free' and therapists for hire at eftmastersworldwide.com


best wishes





If you dont use your writing skills in some way, that would be the real shame of all this.|||It sounds like a phobia to me. Those are wierd and can trick your mind into extreem paranoia. Phobias are a truly insane part of most people and i don't think you have anything to worry about.|||I would really recommend that you see a psychiatrist or mental health doctor. Some of what you wrote here, specifically about demons and tectonic plates, really worries me. Please think about talking to a professional.