Re: Tell me what you think?

So, I asked about my story, http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…


And I want you guys to finish reading it, because well, I didnt get to the good part (":


I'm skipping a few parts, because they're under 'construction.'


Gregory was so deep in thought, that he did not see the truck speeding towards him. Gregory continued walking down the road, thinking about Mr. Markle, when the truck driver honked his horn. Gregory spun around to see why the driver had decided to honk his horn when he saw the frightened man behind the thick sheet of glass in his truck. Gregory’s eyes went wide and he tried running away, but couldn’t, he was frozen in place and even if he wanted to escape, he wouldn’t be able to. He was going to die. Gregory prayed silently, awaiting his death.


The metal beast collided into Gregory, and Gregory screamed. The edge of the truck hit Gregory in the stomach, which sent him flying to the ground a few feet away. The old man, who had been watching from a distance struggled to get off the ground and rushed down the street, attempting to help Gregory. The alarmed truck driver stomped his foot down on the break, but accidently hit the accelerator. The truck driver shouted for the old man and Gregory to move out of the way.


Unfortunately, Gregory was in no state to move and the old man barely made it out alive. The driver had rolled over Gregory. Once the driver gained control over the 16-wheeler, he ran out of the truck and came to check on Gregory. When he caught sight of the damage he had done, the man gasped and tears started to flood his eyes. Gregory was in a sorry state, and it didn’t look like he was going to make it out alive.


The man flung himself onto Gregory and checked for his pulse. He felt a faint pulse, but nothing more. The truck driver looked around the ever-growing crowd, “Somebody, call an ambulance!” He cried out, tears streaming down his eyes.


The old man that had tried to save Gregory walked forward and knelt down next to Gregory, crying silently. He looked up at the truck driver, who was wearing jeans and a yellow shirt. “This is your fault.” The wrinkled man murmured.


The truck driver, who called himself Anthony, hung his head, ashamed with himself. He whispered to Gregory, “Please. Please, live.”





Gregory knew he was dead, but he didn’t feel dead. He could hear everybody weeping around him. The old man, the man who had hit him, even strangers who had come to see what the commotion was all about. Being dead was actually quite peaceful. He didn’t have to worry about anything and nobody could hurt him while he was dead, or so he thought. Gregory didn’t even feel when the truck had rolled over him, because death had already claimed his body.


Gregory snapped out of his thoughts and looked at all the people around him. Anthony was by his side, weeping and praying to God for Gregory to stay alive. The old man was checking for Gregory’s pulse every few minutes and some people in the crowd were murmuring prayers for him. After some time, an ambulance swerved a corner and parked in front of the accident. A man walked out and called out to the people, “How did this happen?”


Anthony rose to his feet, his face streaked with tears, “It’s a long story.”


The man nodded and called to two people to come and place Gregory onto a stretcher. The man bent down near Gregory and checked his pulse. He muttered, whether to Gregory or himself, nobody knows, “You’re not going to make it.”


Once Gregory was on the stretcher and in the ambulance, the man got into the car and motioned for Anthony to come forward, “Okay, son. We need you to come with us.”


Anthony nodded and got into the vehicle, when the old man walked up to the ambulance and told men that he too wanted to come. The man who was driving the ambulance shrugged and nodded, as if to say, sure, why not? The old man climbed into the automobile, and held onto Gregory’s left hand, praying for God to have mercy.


The vehicle roared to life and drove down a concrete path, turned a couple of corners and before making it to the hospital. During the entire ride to the hospital, Anthony was begging God to keep Gregory alive and the old man was doing the same. Gregory saw how he had hurt all these people, and he felt miserable. I caused all this pain, he thought. He looked around the ambulance, and he felt something boiling inside of him. It kept growing inside of him, until the pain felt almost unbearable. The pain he caused these innocent people was his entire fault.|||Arghhh! Enough with the Gregory's!!! It ticked me off so much I couldn't finish this!