Please help! Should I dump him or try to work things out?

experienced/mature people only, please.





I'm a 23 yr old who has been dating a guy (24) for a little over 2 months now. We met on an internet dating site, both looking for a long-term relationship. I deleted my profile the other day, but his was still on there (although i think he's neglected it). We aren't long distance, he's under an hour away. He has not changed his facebook relationship status (I haven't yet either, dont go on much). i don't think thats a big deal tho. Ours both are blank tho, doesn't say single. He's a medical student and he's 5 states over right now til tomorrow for some conferences %26amp; figuring out where he'll go for residency. Well to make a long story short, today when i talked to him he had bones to pick with me.. complaining how i don't really use terms of endearment (baby, hun, etc). I do, but just not much bc I'm not used to it.. Is that really a big deal for guys? And he also whined a little how I "ignore" him (when I don't answer my phone sometimes, sorry i dont sit next to it all day! I have to work %26amp; not always available).. And today he said I don't listen--well we were talking on the phone %26amp; he had to repeat himself a few times. For one thing, my phone is having issues so he sounded muffled as its hard to hear. He got agitated %26amp; eventually hung up on me.. I then tried to call back %26amp; it went straight to voicemail (ie he had shut his phone off..pretty immature..). Also, I said on there how i was sorry i was kind of zoned out/not being super excited to talk because i have a lot going on (which is true)..my grandma has just started chemo to help her cancer (shes 92, so the end is not too far off) %26amp; i have other stressful things going on. So i explained that. But I feel like he's being unreasonably sensitive %26amp; overreacting. What do you think?





I'll be honest, I'm also a bit nervous because when we first started dating he had mentioned how "most of his past relationships lasted only 2 or 3 months." Ugh. Maybe this is why. Maybe he starts becoming a mr.control freak. When guys start/stop relationships all the time, do they get bored with the girl %26amp; actually WANT drama so they can move on to next one? It's odd tho because he has mentioned things in the future like "in the fall we should go hiking" or even mentioning x-mas. And talked about buying me a kayak (we looked at them too). So you'd think I really have him. I have not had a huge amount of dating experience, altho I've been on a few dates w/guys %26amp; one long relationship (2 yrs, so has he). Other than his complaining about my zoning-out on the phone, i like everything else about him. He makes me laugh. We have a good time etc.. Listen i have my faults like everyone else. I admit i need to work on my listening skills. But there was more to it. Love is super hard to find these days. I don't want a player. I don't want someone who just wants in my pants. I'd like to think he isn't in one of those categories. Should I try to work things out with him or move on? Do i just leave it in his ball park? (ie wait til he calls back). I don't want to seem desperate, so i have not tried to contact him again. If he's willing, how can we work this out before it turns into bigger problems? I have contemplated how I could possibly see myself marrying someone like him.. We have a lot of the same goals/priorities in life. We do have something pretty good, and I'd like to salvage it.. Any input/tips appreciated, ladies (or guys!). Thanks for reading..|||hmmm......


well if you have a lot going on in your life then he should at least be understanding of it, you know?


And not put you down.


Make sure you let him know why your mind has been somewhere else.


Are you giving him the attention he needs or is he THAT clingy?


I dont know only u do.


But let me just say that when someone is in love- they know it and dont have to question their love for another.


Plain and simple


If you know for a fact that you arent that in love with him- then its not meant to be|||Get out while you can! After 2 Months? It's only gonna get worse....|||Yes you should break up. It shouldn't be this annoying this quick.|||follow your heart|||It sounds like you know the answer already, he is a controlling person and this does not sound like a health relationship for you.|||yes dump him. i didn't read all that but you don't like him and you only know him through the internet. internet romances aren't for real.|||I think you should take what he said into consideration and take baby steps. Call him hun, babe, etc and wait a while see what happens. Also have a long conversation with him dont argue just talk express your feelings toward him since he express his feelings to you. After that i would wait a month and see what happens. Another suggestion is take a break, from each other. I hpe every thing works out for you and good luck!!|||He sounds like he is very controlling already, and it will only get worse. You are still young enough, and I am sure you are a very attractive young lady, you will find someone who will treat you with respect, if nothing else RESPECT!!! So I would strongly suggest you Dump him and move on.You deserve to be happy and have some one treat you the way you deserve also.


Best of luck to you in what ever you decide.|||It sounds like you're not really that into him, to me. And he does sound immature and controlling. I say dump him before things get worse.|||from what i gather the whole problem is what he wants . your zoning him out. but he doesnt say an i doing something to make you zone me out. it sounds like your boy friend wants a pity party. he wants to be the center of your life. he wants to be the first breath you take and your last a control problem. what about you? dont you matter? take some time study this one. do a little research maybe some of his friends or x-girl friends. maybe its a pattern. good luck lady!|||I stopped reading at 'he got agitated %26amp; eventually hung up on me ..."





You've been seeing this guy for 2 months, he gets pissy when you don't call him honey or baby, and he whines that you ignore him because you don't jump up to answer the phone when it rings ... and this sounds like a nice, sweet, attractive guy that you want to keep seeing !?!





DUMP HIM !!!!





This is the kind of behavior that will not get better over time. He'll become more needy, more whiny and more controlling.





Yes, you should definitely dump him. The good things are insignificant against this kind of immaturity. You could hang around and wait to see if he'll ever grow up ... but I wouldn't. I'd much rather find a man who's already a man.





You can do better !!