My friend is going through a rough time with her husband... please help!?

A good friend of mine is going through some issues with her husband... She suggested councilling and he said no...





He is a truck driver and always gone for 1 week at a time... when he is home, he spends all of his time at the gym... 5 hours/day... I personal do not think that he is at the gym but she thinks that there is no way that he would cheat.





My friend and I live in two different cities and I went to go visit her for a week. When we went out to the clubs, he would stay home with there 10 month old baby but before we would leave the house, he would try and tell her what she should wear out or he would say things like the car has no gas so put gas in the car if you want to use it... she is on mat leave and is not really making a lot of money so he basically pays for everything so him saying this was just one way of him trying to keep her home... (he picked me up from the airport and filled the tank just before parking the car for the evening... he lied about the car not having gas)





He told her that he was never a jelious person until he met her and now all he does is try to control her...





She just resently got a cell phone... you know one with no contract... a little 20 per month cell phone that she is paying for with her own money (she has the baby 99% of the time so this is a necessity) he got upset and cut off the call waiting,long distance,name display, and voicemail... WTF!





Several months before they where married, they had problems... she was actually thinking about breaking up with him 2 days before he proposed... when they got married after knowing each other for 9 months.. ish she wanted to run at the alter but still went through with it...


Now she regrets it... and does not know what to do...





After the baby, she gained a bit of weight and is having a hard time losing it... partially because she has a husband that rearly wants to touch her... she only tells me these things and I am not in the same city as her... she tried talking to her sister and her sister didn't really want to talk about it... so basically she is alone.. she feels like a failure and her husband does not want to communicate with her... well unless he is in a good mood... that is usually for 20 minutes when he gets home, plays with the baby, hands the baby to mom and then gets upset because of something random like my friend saying, "we should hang out like we use to... lets go on a date... it will be just like old times... he gets upset and says... with what money??





He most recently got upset with her because he asked her to make him a hamburger and she had a family member over visiting and asked him if he wouldn't mind doing it this time.. normally she does everything for him... SHE IS AMAZING... I wouldn't do all of what she does for him... peeling his fruit etc. WTF not me!





So anyways, she wouldn't do it, he stopped talking to her for the whole rest of the evening, the next morning, he told her that she was selfish...WHAT? Did I miss something??





And then he told her months ago that if they where to divorce, he would take there baby and move back to New York... where he is originally from...





He does not communicate, when he feels like making up with her, he comes home, lays a kiss on her cheek and pretends as though nothing happend, meanwhile my friend is steaming inside...





What do you think his real issue is, do you think she is selfish... anyone in a situation like this or been in one before??|||Sounds like you are way too involved with what's happening at your friend's house.|||So there's a guy, who is married to a girl, who knows another girl in a different city, and this other girl gets onto YA and asks a million strangers what they think about the first man's behavior.





Reminds me of the telephone game. I think we are too far removed to have any accuracy. It's just entertainment at that point.





I think you should not be so involved with your friend's personal life.|||She could do so much better, she should waste anymore time on him. Odds are, if they divorced she'd get the kid in a custody battle either way. I don't really know them or you of course, but if you think she's a strong enough person to step up and leave (with the baby) I'd say do it.|||You should dedicate your time to writing books instead of messing with others' lives.





SHE chose to be with this man, she CHOOSES to stay with him regardless of him being a manipulative and contolling jerk, then she must be happy. TO EACH THEIR OWN. She regrets having married him? SHE CAN FILE FOR DIVORCE, that is what she has to do -- tell her in case this hasn't occured to her ("she doesn't know what to do" ..... WTF?!?!?!?!!). With the kind of job this man has he will never get custody. If she chooses not to do anything to leave this miserable life then there's nothing you say or do that will make her wake up. So you'd better worry for your own life and problems and stop worrying so much about others' lives.