HELP IM AT SUCH A LOSS?

ok im sorry guys this is long but I REALLY need help and Im crying and cant get under control and im DEVISTATED so please im begging you to read and help?





I had finals and was up very late. I went to sleep and told him if I wasn't back online by 7am to text the crap out of my phone to wake me up. well my phone died/broke that night and so I didn't get any texts or calls and so he freaked out called his mom who called my mom who called public safety at my school. He was exhausted and my exam was at 9am and I woke up LUCKILY 15 minutes before class (I really dont know why) and RAN to my exam so i couldn't reach him /wasnt thinking about getting in touch with him, and my exam was until noon so there was no way for me to reach him and I was freaking out about my exam and getting there. So he thought I was oversleeping and he was trying to find me until 11:30 (he has a night job and is up all night so he was exhausted by the time he went to sleep) and he got too tired and called his mom who called my mom to reach public safety because he was so worried. I know I messed up and he ha a right to be mad at me, but Im not lying my phone really did break after I went to bed and it wont turn on now. Hes so mad at me that he canceled my visit (its semi long distance relationship) and wont let me stay with him and wont talk to me and blocked me on aim and he is so upset and angry he wont accept my apology (even though it was sincere and all I want to do is make it up to him). I cant understand why hes so angry he wont even let me stay with him and he told me he doesnt love me anymore.





now hes saying that Im full of **** and that all the promises ive made to improve (I told him I would get more organized and some other things like dress better and actually get my work in on time ect) and now he says its painfully obvious how full of **** i am, and that he doesnt love me anymore and he wont talk to me or even give me address so i can mail him his phone since he left it at my place last time i saw him. He wants me to take a four hour bus ride to return his phone to him, and then take the bus back. The problem is he doesnt wake up till 7pm so by the time i get him his phone i will be getting back in nyc at midnight alone, and i will have to get from one station to another 20 blocks away to take another train home and walk in the dark in a not so safe neighborhood alone to do this. He said i should drive but I dont have the money for gas and tolls and parking. I offered to overnight the phone to him but he said I dont have his address and he wont give it to me, and that if i want to prove to him im full of **** i have to do it from a distance. I told him i didnt know how else to get him his phone and he said that well then I ****** and made it now so i have no way to get in contact with him what_so_ever. I dont know what to do and I dont know why hes THIS mad, it was a slip up that happened because of how stressed and freaked i was about my exam and I only got 2 hours of sleep and the night before i only got like 4 hours of sleep. Im afriad hes going to break up with me and I dont know what to do? everyone thinks he treats me terrible but I love him. I think this might be an abusive relationship because hes always putting me down and trying to change me and yelling at me/getting mad at me and sometimes he hits really low blows and he makes me cry a LOT. there are a few times hes physically touched me but it has been a while since hes done that, and it wasnt punching or anything. he pinned my face against the wall, and pinned me to the ground with my arms in a position that hurt. He also will pin me to the bed by my neck if i say he isnt essentially alpha. He thinks im an idiot, and he can "think mental circles around me". he often gets upset when i feel like i cant read his mind, or see where he is coming from and refuses to tell me. he also calls me stupid often, and not teasing. I really do try to change for him. I try really hard I just have terrible adhd and im bipolar among other things so he doesnt understand some things are not always fully in my control. he says im immature and i need to grow up but he is the only one that thinks that. what should i do? what do you think will happen if i dont get him his cell phone? Im really at my wits end and crying in tears and lost confused and hurt . Im scared to leave him because im not in a good position to find someone else and i do love him. he does have some good things about him, hes attractive, smart, reliable, and supportive. He just is such an angry person i feel like every little thing sets him off. HELP?!?!?! I dont know what to do, he says i can prove myself to him from a distance but do you think its worth it or I can do better? Im skinny and attractive im just not confident or very social. I think Im repeating myself because Im so upset and scared. help?|||You are in a very abusive situation. This guy is a sicko. Do not return his phone in person. Do not get sucked back into a relationship with him. Right away PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE either go to your therapist or a counselor at your school and talk to them about this situation. You are a smart and capable person and he has you convinced he can think circles around you. Just because you have adhd and bipolar doesn't mean you need to put up with his crap. Just because he is a jerk doesn't mean you can't find someone else. Just because you lack confidence doesn't mean you can't learn to feel good about yourself. Please get some help with this. He is bad news and you do not need him in your life. If he contacts you please do not take his call.|||He has already broken up with you, and in a very mean way. I know it hurts and it's awfully painful, but for your sake, I hope he doesn't change his mind. He is terribly abusive; the word "supportive" cannot be used for someone like him. A person who is always angry makes a terrible life partner, and pinning you down like that and abusing you verbally is a very good sign that he is likely to escalate the violence one day. Even if you wanted to escape from him then, he could try to stop you and many women even get killed at that point. Right now, you can get away from him easily, and I think you should be glad. Someday you WILL be glad, even if you are sad now.





You can find someone better, and you deserve someone better, but you will never find him if you shut your eyes to the reality of this guy.





As for the phone, he has no right to insist that you personally deliver it. If he is so set on keeping his address from you, then he can rent a post office box temporarily and let you send it there. Or you can give/send it to one of his friends or relatives who do know his address and ask them to send it to him. If you know the place where he works, you could also send the phone to him there, "in care of" his company.





And the next time you have an exam and are tempted to make someone else responsible for getting you up, buy a loud alarm clock. It isn't fair to put it on other people. Besides, they can freak out like your bf and they can also be irresponsible and forget about waking you.|||You are in a potentially dangerous and abusive relationship. The only good thing is that it is "semi long distance". You need to put even more distance between you and him. All of the classical symptoms of a controlling, abusive male are already manifest in this guy. He has brainwashed you into believing that you are the problem, when he is. Your self-esteem has been damaged, and he controls you from afar through fear and anxiety.You should seek counselling from an agency that specializes in domestic abuse and violence; if he stalks or threatens you, file a police report and get a restraining order.


Then go back to getting an education so that you will be independent of such losers the rest of your life. Don't perpetuate the cycle by giving him 'one more chance'.|||Dear calm down ;; HOLY Gee your whole family would have been kill in a car accident ; and it will not be worst ; OK You are young and beautiful and you are crying for a guy who doesn't have enough trust in you to believe your story ; dump him Its a emergency