Should i trust him? Please read and answer. I need help?

this is a long story. please read it all, i need help. i will try and summarise.





boyfriend and i have been together for 15 months. he lived long distance and moved in after 4 months. birth control failed and got pregnant almost immediately.





when i was about 2 months pregnant he decided he wanted to look online for people to start a band (he plays guitar). he found this girl and started talking. i was a bit iffy but it was for his band so it was okay. he started talking to her on msn for hours. it got to the point where i literally had to say 'can you be in bed at 10 so we can spend some time together?'. 10:30 rolled around and he still wasnt in bed so i went looking for him. found him on the computer and asked him to please come to bed, you can talk tomorrow. so he did. then as soon as we got in bed, he picked up the ipad and went on ebuddy. i got mad so rolled over and slept. i woke up at 3 am and he was still on ebuddy. so the next day i checked his messages and hardly any of the talk was about band stuff, obviously.





it was all flirty, things like 'what do you prefer on a girl, bikinis or 聽lingerie?' i confronted him and he knows how to guilt trip me and was saying things like 'why are you trying to take away my band, it makes me happy' so he said he would cut back on msn. then they started texting. he told me she would come over one sunday to play music. i found out, in his texts, that he was planning to meet her the saturday before for a movie so they could 'get to know each other'


and that was it. i told him her or me. he got really mad at me but cut it off with her anyway. he never told her we were pregnant or anything. and the last thing he said to her was 'we can be secret friends'








Two months later i was with him and noticed a new friend on his fb page. I asked who it was and he said he added people from the linkin park fanpage and she was one of them. When he was outside one day i noticed he had messages from her. When i checked them they were really flirty. Like him saying 'hey babe' 'whats up sexy' and she told him she got 'a really hot dress' and he would say 'i bet it looks even hotter on' and he was trying to get her to go ice skating with him. It was just like i didnt exist.





When i confronted him about it he said she was a friend from where he used to live and thats how they always talked with each other. When i told him i remembered who she was he started saying but shes a lesbian so it doesnt matter. But she wasnt. When i asked him why he was lying he said it was because he didnt want to hurt me. I said 'why would you do it in the first place then?' and he said 'i get bored.' so i said if he gets bored he can leave. And i asked if he thought of me while he was doing this and he said yes and then i said 'then you knew it would hurt me' and he said yes but i didnt think you would find it. So i told him he cant keep doing this, he needs to want to be with me and not talk to other girls, so he deleted his fb account.





We had the baby, then last week (4 weeks old) my boyfriend got really angry for no reason and slept alone. The next day he came home and acted like nothing was wrong, when he was out of the room i found a text on his phone. It was to the facebook girl, saying 'hey sexy'. He sent it just after he waled out of the bedroom the night before.





When i confronted him about it this time he said he was upset and just wanted someone to talk to. When i asked why he couldnt have texted one of his friends he said he wanted to talk to someone that i had no connection to. So i asked why he had to do the 'sexy' thing and he couldnt answer me. I didnt understand why he had to text her as soon as he gets upset with me. But he promised he wouldnt do it again and he loves me and he doesnt want anyone else.





Should i trust him? Is this as bad as i feel it is? What should i do/believe? I really need help. Please|||Short answer is hell no. I know its hard because of the child but hes only going to hurt you in the long run unless things drastically change. Re read what you wrote and and ask yourself if you trust him. I think you already know the answer|||this is such a saaaaaaaaaaad story


talk to ur bf, u or her


if he cant make a choice leave him u r better without him|||tell him it you or that band because that is not right|||Hello,


No you should not trust him. Obviously he is cheating and hes not doing a very good job of hiding it. Usually i would say confront him and see what he says and make your decision based on what he says. but it seems you've confronted him multiple times!! In my opinion, hes not a very good boyfriend, probably wouldnt make a good husband! You seem like a calm person considering most girlfriends would be like yelling at the bf's if they did this as im sure i would. Ok maybe first maybe second time i wouldnt but this seems to be getting serious! But you cant always be nice. Sometimes you have to be mean to protect yourself especially with a guy like this. Make your point, tell him exactly how you feel, dont fall for his lies or guilt trips! You probably know him well enough to know when hes trying to play you! But you are not a game your not a fidle! your a human being with feelings and concern! he cant just play you like that! After all these issues have occured you should know by now you cant trust him. He's probably just another player! Honestly, and dont take this the wrong way, but i think he is with you because of the baby.. Think about it if you werent having the baby dont you think he would go off with this other girl! he obviously doesnt want to forget about her even though he has you. If he loved you like he should he wouldnt do things like that. Now i cant really judge him too much because i dont know him. but just take everything i said into consideration.





I think you should dump him, and find someone whos going to treat you better! Everyone deserves someone who TRUELLY loves them. he might love you, but does he TRUELLY love you? Take some time to think it over but i really hope you make the right choice... Good Luck!|||I think you have more than enough reason to be concerned... he has lied to you on numerous occasions and that is not on... It's one thing to have a female friend you talk to but its another when you are writing comments like that, it is not talking, it is flirting. I think you need to sit him down and say to him it has to end now.. you are together and a baby, if he is serious about things with you, he will do what you ask. If he continues it, you have to ask yourself do you really want to be with someone who is like that??? Its disrespectful to you and could you trust ever trust him???





I hope all works out for you but whether or not he is the one for you... I am not sure about that sorry to say..|||You really don't need this guy in your life. You are never going to be able to trust him completely. Tell him to leave, you can make it on your own with your baby. He will have to pay child support. I know you can do it because I had to. It was hard but I have the most wonderful daughter and a husband and he adopted her. Good luck, kick him out.|||you shouldnt trust apparently hes making it clear hes cheating on maybe he just doesnt want to feel grown up with he baby and everything but do you want him as an example for you son/daughter?|||No, I would not trust him.



But now you also have a child, so that just adds to the problem.



You need to got to court, DNA test, and establish child support at this point.